why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
