At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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