His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
