im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
This baby is an asshole
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
