College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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