apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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