His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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