It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
