Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
