ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
