I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
