We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
