He disabled his match.com account in front of me
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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