I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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