she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
