My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
