stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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