He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
