Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
