This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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