Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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