so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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