You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
