it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
