Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
