Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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