My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
my liver is dry heaving
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
