Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Come on in and take your pants off
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