i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
