I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize