I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
