I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
How does one acquire holy water?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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