She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
