His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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