I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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