I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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