Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
