you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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