I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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