The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
