we have officially lost it.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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