my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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