I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize