Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
