I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
