I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you win again, gameday.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
