You're my little dorito
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
