she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
