I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
