We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It's never too late to be topless.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
