SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
