oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
