My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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