i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
