I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
bring money and cleavage
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
