I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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