Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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