i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
last night I used snow as a chaser
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
