alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
