honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
