I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
