Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
