At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
