3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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