there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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