My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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