What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
This is not my ceiling
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
