it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
